Posts by Reopened Mind

55

Hassan's New Book: Chapter 2- What is Destructive Social Influence ?

by flipper in

jw
friends

Reopened Mind

Thanks Flipper, I enjoy your reviews.

One quote especially struck a chord: "Even people who are born into cults have an authentic self that makes it possible to rescue people from cults many years, even decades after they join." My husband, TotallyADD was born into the cult of Jehovah's Witnesses; he did not "join" unless one considers baptism as joining. He was inculcated, pressured, coerced, threatened, from the time he was born. Still, underneath it all, in his mid fifties he began to awaken and began getting in touch with his authentic personalty. It has been quite a journey for both of us. Having lost his childhood to the cult, he wanted to experience celebrating Christmas, our birthdays, and other holidays. The joy that was lost to him before is immeasurable. He has taken an interest in politics. (I suspect it was there all along.) He registered to vote and plans to vote for the first time in this year's presidential election. We have explored some Protestant churches together. Last week we went to a Unitarian Universalist church. We both found this congregation open and welcoming.

For me it was easier as I was agnostic before I joined the cult in my teens, and I have returned to my agnostic, atheist, secular humanist way of thinking.

Even though we met while in the cult, married while in the cult, raised children while in the cult, we are surprisingly compatible in our way or thinking despite our vastly different upbringing.

And Flipper, best of luck in reaching your JW family.

Reopened Mind

23

University/Informing Elders/Elders Reactions/No longer pioneer

by MsGrowingGirl20 in

university is going really good!

i'm meeting alot of different people.

friends are so much easier to make here with 'worldly ' people.

Reopened Mind

MsGrowingGirl20,

One step at a time girl, one step at a time. And a hearty CONGRATULATIONS for waking up at a young age.

Many years ago when I was your age we had the cliche; today is the first day of the rest of your life.

You may not know now what you want to do with the rest of your life but you have plenty of time to figure it out. You are learning to think for yourself for the first time in your life. Take advantage of it! Work hard, enjoy your new friends including us here. If you haven't already, please read Steve Hassan's books "Combatting Cult Mind Control" and "Releasing the Bonds". They will help you to recognize the fear and guilt tactics the WTS is trying to use on you. The fear of Armegeddon is a classic example.

When my husband and I first started waking up we were hesitant to tell each other. It was such a relief to realize he was thinking of leaving like I was. We began sharing our research and thoughts with each other. I also remember the first time we divulged our JW past to someone. How would this person react? What would this person think of us? Our story just started spilling out and we had some wonderfully sympathetic listeners. It helped us to have even closer friends because they could understand us better. I understand your trepidation on opening up to someone. Still don't be afraid to open up to someone you feel you can trust.

Again, one step at a time and you will go far.

Reopened Mind

15

Message from a JW. Does this sound Christian?

by TimothyT in

sent a message to a very good jw friend who must be about 20 now.

here is the message:.

"hiya.

Reopened Mind

Tim T,

Your friend was not really your friend. He was a friend of a corporation. Now that you no longer are a part of that corporation he is showing where his true loyalty lies. You are so lucky to have escaped the prison of a mind-controlling cult at a young age. Unfortunately your friend is still behind bars. You replied without malice or judgment. He deserves your pity but not your friendship. Keep looking forward and make real friends.

Reopened Mind

18

Exposing a JW to the definition of cults - good idea?

by NeverKnew in

first, i am not a jw and never was.

i ran into an old friend who had been "baptized" who "encouraged" me to consider looking into the faith he had become a part of (born-in).

i figured, "hey... maybe i'll learn something i've never known.

Reopened Mind

NeverKnew,

Fully indoctrinated JWs have different definitions of words than than others. Back in the day when I was in field service and someone would call us a cult, I would say, "Of course we are not a cult! We don't follow a man, we follow Jesus Christ. He is our head, not a man." I had no idea what the real definition of word cult was. Like Outlaw said if the WTBTS says they are not a cult, then JWs think they are not a cult. No other definitions are relevent.

Reopened Mind

21

When You Were A Witness Did You Ever Celebrate A Birthday or Holidays?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i knew some families that celebrated "family day" on christmas eve or some time around the holiday.. i don't know of too many witnesses that actually celebrated but kinda came close....haha.

Reopened Mind

I never could understand why celebrating wedding anniversaries was OK, but celebrating birthdays was taboo. You only have one birthday, the rest are "anniversaries".

Reopened Mind

14

I got sick message from my brother :/

by Kaiser in

jw
friends

at first i must apologize my english, im not native speaker.. .

during the last two years i ve been studying without watchtower publications and it really opened my eyes.. i think i made a mistake to tell my findings about the "truth" to my brother.. here s the translation of email i got from him.... .

"howdyhau you gay*****, i have confessed all my sins and im trying to get rid of them.

Reopened Mind

Kaiser,

First of all your English is just fine. I think everyone understands exactly what you are saying.

Secondly, WELCOME!! You will find support here.

Thirdly, your brother is TOXIC. Run, don't walk, away from that relationship as fast as you can.

And lastly, we would like to hear your story.

Reopened Mind

7

Demos at convention

by lostinthought in

jw
friends

so i have made it through two days of the district convention, i half heartily payed attention during it (whoever evented smart phones is a genius!

) anyway i noticed the parts were pretty dummed down this year, especially the demos...and there were a lot of them they all were very unrealistic and over dramatized.

even the speakers parts were pretty dumb and scripted.

Reopened Mind

I have given an experience or 2 at conventions and assemblies. There is a core of truth to the experience, that's why I was asked in the first place. However at rehearsal I was always asked to empahsize a phrase or add certain comments to bring my experience in line with the theme of the assembly or the brother's talk. Everyone's experiences were punched up to portray what the speaker wanted. And I assume what the Society's instructions were.

Reopened Mind

46

Lost my best friend (man's best friend)

by Coffee House Girl in

jw
friends

just wanted to write a tribute to my best friend whom i lost last week, it was one of the most painful experiences i have ever been through.

i have no children, my puppy was my child.

i got him from a golden retriever rescue organization when he was 2. he was recovering from a car accident, still a bit skiddish, but he chose me to take him home (the foster mom said that he never responded to anyone like he did me).. he was always happy to see me, greet me with a toy in his mouth, he never judged me, never cared whether i was "bad association", he was always there when i needed to smile and remembe that i was not alone in the world.

Reopened Mind

Coffee House Girl,

So sorry for your loss. A dog can be a girl's best friend as well.

I have a black lab I got from a rescue organization and another dog and 4 cats that I "rescued" from my kids. Rescue animals seem to have more of a sense of loyalty than non-rescue.

I like the following quote.

"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."
-- Unknown

Reopened Mind

101

New girl in town here for support

by joyfulfader in

hi everyone here on jwn.

i admit to being a lurker for quite some time before joining and now i am ready to post and i want to introduce myself.

i am/was 3rd generation and daughter of the po (as it was termed at the time) for most of my life.

Reopened Mind

joyfulfader,

Hello and welcome to the board! You are so lucky (yes, we can say that now, lol) to have escaped at 40. My husband and I (he posts as TotallyADD) left in our mid fifties and moved from the South to northern PA to start our lives over. He was the PO when he woke up.

Trying to figure out what you believe will take some time and research. TotallyADD was a born-in like yourself. Two years later he is still reformulating his beliefs. Since I was a convert it was easier for me as I returned to what I had formerly believed. BE PATIENT. It will be a lifetime journey. My advice for what it's worth is: Don't do anything illegal or anything that violates your inner moral sense.

Do you have anyone whom you can trust to talk things out with?

Heaven suggested Crisis of Conscience and jwfacts.com. These are good places to start. If you want to understand what the cult has done to you I further suggest Combatting Cult Mind Control and Releasing the Bonds by Steve Hassan.

Best wishes to you on the rest of your life's journey.

Reopened Mind

26

2012 ICSA Conference The Ethics of Evangelism

by Lady Lee in

well the title of this caught me attention especially since so many ex-jehovah's witnesses think any kind of evangelism or preaching is bad.

so the idea that some evangelism might actually be good intrigued me.

i have refrained from adding comments how jws measure up to each of these.

Reopened Mind

WOW Lady Lee! Thanks for sharing. As JWs we violated every one of them.

Reopened Mind